K's first Father's Day

He slept in. Ate some bacon, eggs, and friend green tomatoes. Off to church, where a neighbor gave us bubbles for Annaliese; back home again.

And then we dropped the bebe off with her first-ever paid babysitter, bought ourselves a bag full of candy and the biggest bucket of popcorn I've ever seen, and watched Indiana Jones.


Then we came home and played with the baby.

She's a lucky girl, to have such a good papa, and sometimes, I think she knows it.

I haven't seen Megan for nearly 3 years.

SShe graciously let us stay at her house in Columbus, Ohio. We arrived late and left early but it was still a good time. The crutches are because she tore her ACL.

vermont pics

annaliese with her great grandmother.

and her great-uncle Theo.

and her greataunt Liz.

And her grandfather.

both godparents

Nicholas and Anika.

Anika flew from GERMANY ten days prior to the christening and saved my sanity by doing things like helping me springclean the kitchen, shampoo the nursery carpet, and as always hold the baby.

I was sorting through pictures yesterday and for someone who lives overseas, she always manages to be there--- at my confirmation, when I was thirteen; at my senior year homecoming; in Italy on my post-grad trip; in Paris (I went to visit her that time); at my wedding, my baby shower, and now, Annaliese's christening.

She and Nick are going to be kickass godparents. Between their culinary skills, good taste, and interest in Annaliese, she's going to *really* approve of our choices.

and once more

i love this shot. so much me and my sister.

irises were nuts in va this spring.

godpapa nick and his fabulous gf emily flew all the way from LA for the christening.

unfortunately, they didn't get to ride the lawnmower. but good times were had nonetheless.

i give in.

auntie eliza.

Grandmere Huguette.

Baby-- first time in cabin!!!!

This year's coolest project: siphon water from the pond, fill, light a fire, wait 20 mins, douse the fire, and enjoy-- preferably after jumping starkers into the pond, which is spring-fed and FREEZING.

one rambly, rambly post

you know what: screw the pictures. there are approximately 500 million of them: annaliese with me, with k, with her godparents and her grandmothers and her grandfather and her aunt and uncles and the dogs and in the car seat and on and on and on and my mac don't got no picasa, yo, so uploading is a chore.

pester k. for them. about time he pulled some blog weight.

and besides! i have to tell you!

annaliese is seriously rocking, to the point where we were at a pool party on friday and i told a friend that we were thinking about having another baby kind of soon.

(not THAT soon. one has to coordinate these things when one lives in mississippi. do you know what pregnant ankles look like in eighty degree weather, let alone the hundred it gets down here?)

but saying that made me realize how much better life has gotten, because if you'd asked me four months ago, i would have gone to the bathroom to weep into my hands after saying "probably someday" with a manic glint in my eye.

And no, she doesn't sleep through the night. in fact, last night she woke up three times: two for hunger and once for gas. but she slept from 9 to 8, people, 9 to 8! and right now she's napping! i put her in her crib, covered her with a blanket, and after babbling for a while, she went to sleep!!!!!

these kind of miracles are becoming everyday now, but I am so thankful for them. I never want to forget the hard times at the beginnings of her life because otherwise i too might be one of those moms who are like really? your baby's like that? mine's always been a dreamball...

once, in a long ago life, stinkessa and i were at jcrew. we saw a girl out with a tiny baby asleep in a car seat; how precious, we cooed, and then we looked at her. how old? 6 weeks, the girl said, and she truly looked so much like a normal, pretty girl, that we both exclaimed--6 weeks! you look fabulous!

she puffed up with pride and said, oh, it's not that hard.

i think of her often these days. i think about how it's probable that getting out of the house and into that store was something she did to save her sanity, and how insecure everyone feels about their babies in public, let alone their bodies....I'm glad we made a fuss over her, for a couple reasons, and one of them is this:

people check you out in the post-partum period. really. every time i see anyone for the first time, i catch them glancing at my stomach (objectively not bad but not what i want it to be, sort of first trimester-ish actually).

it's a natural thing to do, but it's kind of wearing. i've actually caught myself stretching and closing my eyes so everyone present could go on and get their looking-at-my-midsection-thing over with. and when someone doesn't exclaim, god, you look great! i then bring it up, usually like this:

well, i was doing really well, and then two weeks of vacation....

i said this the other day and the other person said nothing. no, oh hush your mouth honey, you're amazing--

and obviously I'm totally fine with it.

so next time you see someone who's had a baby within the last twelve calendar months? say bless your heart, girl, you look marvelous.

because motherhood takes a lot of under-eye concealer, you know?

And here's to looking at me!

Christening Continued

Getting God-ified:And with her Nonnie:

The Baby in her too-small christening cap

made by Annaliese's great-grandmother.

we're home...

many, many pics and stories to follow.

later :)

check ya later

requisite picture of the baby:


damn, she is adorable.

that being said, some non-baby-related things:

we had our first farmers' market of the season last saturday. with the help of anika, i sold out of focaccia and cinnamon rolls. i think i made about two bucks profit, but in my opinino-- a raving success.

i can't believe hillary clinton is still running, and i can't believe how far i've come from being willing to vote for mccain. every time the man talks he gives me the heebies.

i really, really want a cow. but i got wind of a guy with jerseys, so maybe we can work something out.

this evening, k and i moved our boat into the building on main street to avoid the whole theft thing. wade, our 84 yr old barber, came by and refused to let me take my end of the boat. he carried it in. i love this town.

anika has been here for the last two weeks, and she is amazing. my closets and cabinets are IMPECCABLE. and she's good company to boot.

my dad's probably not going to meet his first and onlygrandchild this trip either, despite my offer to lunch at a spot 60 miles north of manhattan with a train station. the whole thing makes me very, very sad. until i get impatient with the whole boring situation and move on.

oh: and my husband rocks. spa mani, pedi, and massage for mothers' day. i am one PAMPERED princess.

see y'all soon.

early Sunday morning

On Sunday morning, I left my family sleeping and made myself a big bowl of coffee and milk. I sat on the porch, looked out at the new morning, and wrote in my journal. It was the kind of time that has always been and still is precious.


We head north on Wednesday. Annaliese has never spent a night elsewhere than this house, and so I'm a bit nervous- abou the sleeping, about the 14hrs in a car, about the bedding down in a new place. But so many good things are going to happen on this trip....Annaliese will meet her godfather, who is flying in from the West Coast; she will sleep in my childhood room, visit our VT cabin, and meet her VT aunties for the first time.

Here's to hoping that moments of stillness still find me.

thank you

for all the nice people in my life.

especially the person who leaves poems as comments. I love them.

Stinkerina came to visit.

She did a lot of babyholding while I did things like grocery shop, wash the dogs, and go to the bathroom.

Oh. And play with the baby.

4 months ago...

I was still laboring. Let's forget that, shall we?

Though I occasionally have fantasies of empty, soundproofed rooms, we're doing ok. And you've learned how to do all sort of things-- most recently, an undulating dragon-baby noise, which you prefer over all the other cutesy sounds you were making. I'm going to wait it out. In three days, you'll be entranced with something else.

Your papa and I had a serious discussion regarding you and television this morning. Already, you like glowing boxes. My vote is for movies like the Swiss Family Robinson and Peter Pan, but your papa says you'll end up scared of pirates.

We'll see, eh? In any case, no dumbo or bambi, because the moms die.

Your sleeping is not so bad. But honey, it's ok to go to sleep; I promise you're not missing anything, other than me and your papa collapsing onto the couch and staring at each other. The occasional hand of rummy-- that's it.

In any case, I'm very proud of you. Other than the milk regurgitation, you're doing a great job being a baby. And you smile at me when you wake up, which is the best kind of thanks there is.

Annaliese is just two days shy of being four months old, and I've got to say-- she rocks.

Right now, she's beginning to amuse herself by making buzzing noises with her lips. It is the cutest thing EVER. Bring on the puppies-- my kid could kick a puppy's ASS.

on books (and don't worry, the bebe)

Shameful confession #568: I want to be an author, meaning I'd like to make my livelihood from having people buy my books.

And yet-- I do not buy books.

Despite this, I went to the kickass bookstore in O-town today. This is what I do: run my hands over the thick smooth dustjackets of the latests hardbacks, then make my way upstairs, spend a dollar on a cup of coffee, and read the used papers on the balcony overlooking the Square.

I do not buy books because I read about five a week, and I don't like to purchase paperbacks. So I go to the library, and occasionally, if there's something really fine that I just have to own, I take a chunk of my quarterly clothing allowance or some birthday cash and buy it.

I don't buy books because how would I pick just one of the lovelies on the display rack? Books are expensive, the price of a decent dinner out, and so I read them first and purchase selectively.

That being said, I'd like more books. Mainly, first signed editions, because I'm getting kind of snobby in my old age.

The aforementioned book store happens to have such a program, and man alive, I am itching to join it.

Since K.'s planning on getting an Iphone, maybe we can work something out.

Now, in recompense for my rambling, a bebe pic:
A little fuzzy, but the cuteness conveys, eh?

She's been impossibly fun lately. We're doing Pantley's no-cry sleep training routine, so we'll see how that goes.... not bad so far.

Sleep or Be Happy: Your resistance to snoozing when cranky and tired better not be a permanent personality characteristic

I'm not sure what's going on with Annaliese.

Three nights ago, she fell asleep at 8.40 (yes!), woke an hour later, got burped and rocked back to sleep in her crib. K. and I went to bed, braced for whatever the night would bring.... and then we woke up at 5.30 in the morning. I had milk soaked through my nightgown and K. was convinced Annaliese had died.

She hadn't.

But on the two subsequent nights, she's woken up 3-6 times; last night, it took a full two hours to soothe her to sleep, so she wasn't out until 10.30. She'd fall asleep, and then push her face into my shoulder, whipping her head back and forth until she was awake and unhappy.

Self-sabotaging behaviour, but whatever.

This morning, despite being TIRED, she would only nap while on a pillow which is shoved between me and the computer desk. And nursing.

The pillow-nursing position is something I'm quite familiar with from her earlier months, but it's been awhile.

Maybe she's going through a growth spurt. Maybe she's going to be a total crankypants for the next eight months as teeth make their way through her gums.

But it doesn't really matter why her sleep schedule is so schizo right now, because really, there's little to do but wait it out.

Babies-- especially the ones who veer between being sunny and being difficult, like mine-- are really good practice in relinquishing control.

But that doesn't mean I'm happy about all this :(

Annaliese's first playdate

As much as I like it when it's just the two of us.....

Billy came to play for the morning since his mum (a pal of mine and a working lady) had a client conference. As an 8+-month-old, Billy initiated us into the ways of a crawling man-child. It was big fun. And the two bebes seemed kind of...entranced with each other, which Billy demonstrated by trying to thwack Annaliese's face, and Annaliese did things like smile and grab her lady bits. Any gender lessons we can take from this?

In other news, gardening is uber fun, we've finally shaken our colds, and K. made banana bread today.

Hope you're having a happy Wednesday!

It's 4 pm and I haven't managed to do much today. Dogs walked, me showered, baby fed, changed, fed, changed, down for a nap, entertained, etc. Some laundry folded and a going-through of the novel to square up days and dates.

Not so very much, but here it is 4 pm. Babies take a lot of time, even when you put their red teething telephone in front of the computer and balance them on a knee, trying to get some work done.

Which I do. And then I worry that I'm not stimulating her appropriately, so I play with her on the floor. But then I worry I'm not working on the whole getting-published goal.

And I only have one kid! And few real-world deadlines! Not to mention a small house that takes about 2 hours to clean!

How do all the mothers in the world manage?

the cousins are gone. but:

the cousins are here

Why You Should Not Offer Us Things Unless You Want Us To Take Them

We had a lovely Sunday, picking up cow sh*t and cutting a wood piece for the back of our boat.

See, our neighbor had two boats piled under leaves in the back of his yard. We offered to buy one, because I have visions of family afternoons spent on a lake. And after a few months, with a daughter's wedding reception imminent, when I just happened to be lurking near his yard with winsome daughter in tow, the nice man gave us one. With a trailer. For free.

So now we have a 15 foot aluminum boat with a trailer, and it needed a new back wooden piece thingy, so we cut one.

Right after we called up the friends who had said "anytime! Call us and we'll open the pasture for you and let you scoop up cow manure for your garden!"

They said it, we believed them, and hence we did call. And spent an hour or two trundling through pasture, picking up poop and yelling at the dogs, who were--as always--trying to eat it.

Actually, Dido got herself so filthy that when we came home, we washed her in our boat (full of rainwater).

That's right. We got a boat.