Sunday, June 08, 2008

one rambly, rambly post

you know what: screw the pictures. there are approximately 500 million of them: annaliese with me, with k, with her godparents and her grandmothers and her grandfather and her aunt and uncles and the dogs and in the car seat and on and on and on and my mac don't got no picasa, yo, so uploading is a chore.

pester k. for them. about time he pulled some blog weight.

and besides! i have to tell you!

annaliese is seriously rocking, to the point where we were at a pool party on friday and i told a friend that we were thinking about having another baby kind of soon.

(not THAT soon. one has to coordinate these things when one lives in mississippi. do you know what pregnant ankles look like in eighty degree weather, let alone the hundred it gets down here?)

but saying that made me realize how much better life has gotten, because if you'd asked me four months ago, i would have gone to the bathroom to weep into my hands after saying "probably someday" with a manic glint in my eye.

And no, she doesn't sleep through the night. in fact, last night she woke up three times: two for hunger and once for gas. but she slept from 9 to 8, people, 9 to 8! and right now she's napping! i put her in her crib, covered her with a blanket, and after babbling for a while, she went to sleep!!!!!

these kind of miracles are becoming everyday now, but I am so thankful for them. I never want to forget the hard times at the beginnings of her life because otherwise i too might be one of those moms who are like really? your baby's like that? mine's always been a dreamball...

once, in a long ago life, stinkessa and i were at jcrew. we saw a girl out with a tiny baby asleep in a car seat; how precious, we cooed, and then we looked at her. how old? 6 weeks, the girl said, and she truly looked so much like a normal, pretty girl, that we both exclaimed--6 weeks! you look fabulous!

she puffed up with pride and said, oh, it's not that hard.

i think of her often these days. i think about how it's probable that getting out of the house and into that store was something she did to save her sanity, and how insecure everyone feels about their babies in public, let alone their bodies....I'm glad we made a fuss over her, for a couple reasons, and one of them is this:

people check you out in the post-partum period. really. every time i see anyone for the first time, i catch them glancing at my stomach (objectively not bad but not what i want it to be, sort of first trimester-ish actually).

it's a natural thing to do, but it's kind of wearing. i've actually caught myself stretching and closing my eyes so everyone present could go on and get their looking-at-my-midsection-thing over with. and when someone doesn't exclaim, god, you look great! i then bring it up, usually like this:

well, i was doing really well, and then two weeks of vacation....

i said this the other day and the other person said nothing. no, oh hush your mouth honey, you're amazing--

and obviously I'm totally fine with it.

so next time you see someone who's had a baby within the last twelve calendar months? say bless your heart, girl, you look marvelous.

because motherhood takes a lot of under-eye concealer, you know?

3 comments:

Carrefour said...

Word.

Glad you all are back.

Big D said...

Girl, you are GORGEOUS. Next time I see you i'll make a bigger deal, because you are simply perfect.

I would never have thought you were tired or overwhelmed or ANYTHING. You're totally on top of it and I'm creating my "what kind of mom I'll be" blueprint on you. I would have gushed more if I'd known you needed it :)

I'm really glad your back. The two week hiatus really left me missing you.

Anonymous said...

Ummmm. . .. any mom with a 6 week old that looks perfect. . .. . well, there's missing information. Either she has a mom that stays up all night with her child, a nanny, she drugs the baby, or that girl is wearing tons of natural-looking make-up to hide her giant fears and the craziness of being a mom. I've been around enough to know. Even though I do not have my own kids, you can always tell that the moms that put on this picture-perfect appearance-- they are either hiding or overcompensating for something. I plan on being a total wreck when I'm a mom.
Stinks