Sunday, September 24, 2006


It seems that September is our month of gigantic change. Last year, K. and I threw our mutual belongings into a house together and got married. This year, we're building a cabin and in limbo between D.C. and Mississippi.

Two of my old friends have become engaged. Two friends have had their first children. My best friend has bought a house.


Perhaps unfortunately, I believe in the power of the past. And so, as we near completion of this project and move onto a very undefined future, I keep reminding myself-- that last year, I was 6 days married. And two years ago, I was in a different state, still a student, months away from my I'm-graduating-college-without-a-job crisis. And the September before that-- I was still dating the wrong guy, still trying to stuff myself into the college-sized hole.

I visited my former best friend today. Former best friend; isn't that odd? Why aren't there any books about maintaining friendships after the easy laughs are gone? According to our culture, with its emphasis on the self-created urban family (Will and Grace, Friends, Sex and the City), friends are forever, and family are the baggage you leave behind. But in my life, family are the ones you're forced to keep sticking with, and friends-well, I've had too many friends fade out or burn out, depending. It takes years, but here I am, still young, and I have two definitive best friends I no longer talk to. (Let's not even enter the boyfriend realm.)

Anyway, enough. In a week, the roof will be on, God willing. In a month, we'll be denizens of the fine state of Mississippi.

And next September? Here's hoping that we're in a house, the right house, still healthy, still here, and for Pete's sake, not moving.


Angeline said...

Dude, I agree with your perception of friends and family. Sure, I left family behind, physically. But they're the ones who are always there... whether i like it or not. Luckily, family works better when we are physically apart but connected by communication.
Unfortunately, with friends, it's opposite: though we stay connected, it was more fun when we were close by for frequent visits, shared adventures, and life updates.
Interestingly, my mom is creeping into the friends category. Does that mean i'm getting old?

Able Ponder said...


and i've been old for a long time.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhh----that's so nice! Tis a honor----

I think it's a age thing---I was about 25 when my mom became my best friend ----though sadly, a lot of folks don't get that.

The Mom