A Summer Weekend in Mississippi

After a long fall, a mild winter, and a perfect spring, summer is here. The A/C is on. It's too damn hot to be outside at high noon. But life continues, nonetheless, and today that meant a brunch birthday party at a friend's house two streets away.

But first, let me introduce Louie:



He joined our family yesterday and so far fits in great.

Woke up this morning and after awhile, went to the garden to pick off stinkbugs. Determined to  keep them under control so they don't devestate my cucumbers and exotic melons and squashes, so I head down there every other day or so to squish the mustard-like eggs and hand-pick any I see. Found six today, two ripe cucmbers, three strawberries, and these:



The year's first sunflowers! These are Lemon Queens and are taller than K, so about 8 feet or so. The cucmbers are twining up them pretty nicely.

Caspian helped me water but after a half-hour, we headed back up the hill, already hot.

Got dressed and headed to the party.

Where there was a backyard set up for fun-- boucy castle, sprinklers, pools, and of course, balloons.




A friend's baby, whom K has a special fondness for (I think it's mutual):



And so for three or so hours, the kids played relentlessly and the adults flopped in lawn chairs, drank spiked lemonade and Bloody Marys and let the conversations wander.

Some of us work with or next to each other. Some of them are my customers. Some of them are my vendors. Some of them have kids who go to the same daycare. A lot of us were pregnant at the same time. Almost all of us have known almost all the kids since infancy. We all see each other weekly, if not daily, in some way or another, and always at the kids' birthday parties.

I like that my kids are growing up with friends just blocks away.

Caspian and hus buddy G., taking the girls' new birthday present for a spin:



Annaliese ferrying various boys around:








She had a great time. Annaliese never cries or whines or even stops to eat at parties. Instead, she plays like it is her job.

Caspian, on the other hand, ate non-stop, whined a little, and got hot and tired by early afternoon.




So we're home now. Resting in the cool air. Talking about screening in the porch. Letting the heat have its way with the afternoon. We'll go back out again in the evening.

Well.

K. is the BEST husband in the WHOLE world and he should DEFINITELY not be angry at me for 1. forgetting my phone at the store and 2. going out to dinner with my cook and the baker and drinking margaritas and 3. getting home 48 minutes after when I was supposed to be home so we could switch and he could go weed-eat and listen to audiobooks in peace and I am SORRY honey, I am sorry.

Sometimes, it's nice to not be in a hurry.

Other than my grumpy husband, whom I can't call cos my phone is still not with me, all is very well indeed.

Mother's Day, 2012

I was really excited this morning for Mother's Day.

After a long, extra-hard week (culminating in me forced into cooking for a manically busy Saturday breakfast and lunch at the store, as neither of my professional cooks could/would work-- hint: it ended in many bad eggs and one forearm slashed), I came home yesterday with my hair smelling of bacon and crawled into the bosom of my sweet family.

K. kissed my forehead and said, "That's it! You're done doing anything until tomorrow afternoon!" Which was absolutely fine with me.

Until the phone rang at 7:10 this morning, with the Sunday waitress/clerk/cleaner calling in sick.

So I went to work on Sunday, on Mother's Day, and I felt pretty grim about it until a customer, who'd already ushered his wife, son, mother-in-law, and mother out of the store, came back to settle the bill and told me that his wife's Mother's Day included one of their sons shipping out to Afghanistan.

Which made spending some fairly chilled-out time in my pretty store with my kids at home "secretly" baking a surprise carrot cake seem absolutely alright.

K. took a nap the moment I got home. I went running (something this past week didn't allow) and puttered in the garden a little (first blooms on the cucumber vines, which ARE climbing the sunflowers just as I planned!), and then my babies woke up.

We ate cake. We played. Then Annaliese asked if we could go to the nail polish store so she couldn't paint her nails, something she's been dying to do, and on this soft gray afternoon, seemed like a great idea.

On the walk down to Fred's, Caspian said he wants a teddy bear for his birthday (June 3rd!). I asked why. He said in his little-boy lisp, "so I can snuggle with it when I got to sleep."

He also wants axes.

Such a delicious combination :)

So we got nail polish, and Crayons, with my tip money from Saturday (I cleaned UP. Because we were busy, or because people felt sorry for me? Who knows? Fifty tax-free bucks though!), and we walked home, and then I painted both my kids' toenails.

I am not super-into boys and nail polish but Caspian wants to do whatever Annaliese and I do, and today, that means his toes got painted.

Now the kids are sitting side-by-side in their rocking chairs watching Caillou, waiting for their toes to dry, and it feels like I'm a pretty lucky mama. Because I have good kids. Because I have a good mama myself.

Hope y'all had good days too.

Cinco De Mayo

We have a festival getting set up just in fornt of my store. I anticipate a 12-hour work-day for myself, maybe 14, we'll see how it goes. Yesterday was a 14-hour-er too. Even without the festival, we were on track to having our best week ever, again, knock on wood.

So K's at home with the kids, who have been a tad trying this week, and I am pretty sure he is counting the hours until he leaves Tuesday for a child-free, adults-only, Main Street conference with his New Orleans buddy.

I've been there.

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What else is up? Not much. Our long lovely spring that I'm proud to report I enjoyed is OVER and it is officially summer. The A/C is on and it's too hot to play outside unless it's before 10am or after 5. Fair enough. I did plant spinach in January, after all.

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Some Big-Ass News

If you haven't heard from my mama yet (I'm sure you will), a big thing happened yesterday.

I sold a book to Clarkson Potter, the cookbook division of Random House.

This came about because of the New York Times article in march. A NYC literary agent contacted me, said do a proposal, essays with recipes, and so I did.

The writing again, after 2 years away, felt great.

My proposal, 88 recipes from my good friend and cook Dixie, with sample essays and such, went out to editors last Thursday, and on Tuesday, the TWO-YEAR anniversary of the B.T.C., it sold.

Now I have 9 months or so to write the whole thing; it's slated for spring 2014 publication. I don't get any money for a couple months; they pay in 4 installments; the money has to be split among my agent, a photographer, taxes, Dixie, and me, plus a couple little amounts for some other key people. So I am far from quitting my day job :)

But it feels great. It feels unbelievable. I have written 2.5 novels and never even gotten people to read them. Selling a book before it's even written? Phenomenal. It feels like a gift, and a responsibility, and destiny, and other big things.

But most of all, it just feels like fun.

Thanks to my hubby for this sweet post that made me get a little teary.

Also, here's a pic of the kids this morning.

A massive update

So. Kagan made me a beautiful desk that sits next to a window in the living room. It has casters, which I loooovve, and since we use this big ole mac of mine as a tv, comes in handy for show-watching time.

I have never had a desk before that was specifically to my taste, not something making do, and I'm charmed by it. It has casters. A hidden compartment. Heart pine. I adore it.

We have had a long lovely spring and knock on wood, seems to be no signs of stopping. Last month it cost us $200 to live in our house, since we're mortgage-free and disconnected our landline, and just paid a year's worth of house insurance :) One good reason my little subsistence salary stretches as far as it does.

Oh yeah. This grocer is getting PAID.

With K. quitting work, I seized the chance to reorganize my schedule at the store, and now, for the exact same payroll as we had before, everything is working much more efficiently and I. GET. PAID. 

Not a lot, mind you.

The federal government would judge me impoverished.

But it feels all kind of rich to me, after nearly two years of working full-time without a dime to show for it.

So what else is new? I have sunflower seedlings up to my knees. 

I've been journeying to the Amish country twice a week to pick up freshly picked strawberries, and one morning, I actually knelt in the dirt and helped a handful of kids in boaters and bonnets pluck berries off and put them in old ice-cream gallon containers.

I've been working hard and loving it.

K has been taking the kids on all kinds of adventures and in general is super-cheerful and pleasant to be around. He does not have his future career planned out and we are both ok with that. It's been a month, and it's nice to have him around more, nice to see him getting a little color in his cheeks and spending more time with his kids. 

We had a rocky start to his time-my time now that he's not working and Caspian's hardly ever at daycare, so we mapped out a schedule that neither one of us is 100 percent satisfied with, but it sure does cut down on the arguments.

Annaliese this morning, accompanying me on my produce-bread-fancy cheese rounds,  squeezed in a little pocket of space and surrounded by food:

My little monkeys about 10 minutes ago, sneaking out of their beds to play and rough-house:

I am trying to carve out a little space for me to do things like run and do sit-ups and in general not be at the store or mommying it up. like literally, 4 20 minute spaces a week. it's tough. time is so tight, but then, I've never done all that well with a lot of mental space, so maybe it is for the best?

All I know is...

the kids are great, the husband's good, we're happy, the weather is superb, I love my store, my garden, my house, and my *new* desk, and all is mostly, pretty much, even if time is too tight, well. I have plans to see if I can convince K. to spend a few dollars on a babysitter so we can go to a dinner and a movie next week, since it's been months since we had a date-night. I want to plant some more tomatoes and seed some more zinnias and keep stealing roses from abandoned houses that make my house smell divine. I want to buy a new bottle of red wine since my children frequently make me wish I had some. I want tourists-- yep, we get tourists-- to buy the new t-shirts I had made today. I want to lose five more pounds, but I'm not in a big hurry.

Oh yeah.

I got a pair of cherry red Converse sneakers, low-top style.

They're rocking.

The Children.

Let's talk about the children. The fighting, whining, whinging, children.

Parental disclaimer: they are good kids. They are reasonably polite. They are good-hearted. They play together often nicely. They are also 2 and 4 and siblings.

Yesterday evening the kids were driving me a tad mad and then Caspian asked for water so I was filling him a glass and I thought, "Back when they were babies, I couldn't WAIT for them to be able to tell me what they needed."

And now they can, and they do, and I am totally psyched by the idea that someday, I will wake up and hear my child going to the bathroom and going to the kitchen for breakfast by themselves.

But they are 2 and 4 and that time is not now.

Which some mornings, when you stayed up too late watching Lost and they're having major-league feuds about Caspian touching Annaliese with a spoon and the coffee hasn't kicked in yet, seems eminently unfair.

I read this parenting nugget somewhere that said basically all you try to do when you raise your kids is teach them to be decent human beings.

Say please, say thank you, don't hit, share nicely, don't throw your crap on the floor... yep, just a decent human being.

So K. Started Blogging Again.

Which means I've felt it's ok to stop.

But the masses, they clamor! (Hi Mom :) )

Today, a good friend's mother died. She is a friend, customer, and neighbor (one block over). She is very sad. It is very sad. But I am proud of what my children and husband did:

Picked a flower bouquet. Found a nice chocolate bar. Drew a picture. And walked it over to say how sorry they were.

Proud of my good-hearted family.

Caspian messin' with the day's catch of worms.

K. coloring.

Annaliese coloring.

Spring is Here

Skies are Blue

My Baby quit his job

The World's Brand-New

To Virginia and back...

K took MANY pictures which we are slowly uploading to a web album. I will email out that link later.

So, K and kids drive the 16 hours in one day, with our dog, in Boatie the car. They chopped wood and chilled out for a week. I flew in, K went into DC to see an old friend, and the family visitations began!

It was warm enough for fishing, and Annaliese reeled a little sunny in all by herself!



It was windy enough for kites, so the kids flew a kite for the first time!



Then it got COLD and as I was putting the kids to bed, I told them there was a chance of snow overnight. Maybe, I suggested to Annaliese, you could pray to God that there be snow when you wake up int the morning. She thought this was a fine idea and began praying out loud. As I was clising the door to her room, she finished praying. Then she said loud and clear, "God says SURE!"

And lo, there was a little snow:


We saw my aunties and uncles and trekked to my 94-year-old grandfather's house where i took a lot of pics with the idea that someday, my children can tell their children that this was your great-great-grandfather's house, in time-honored pierce tradition.



He seemed happy to see them -- and they were happy to play with the neighbor kdis, pick daffodils, and run around like wild children. In between holding Nonni's hand.



It was really nice. The kids "rode" horses and fed donkeys and played with my mother's enormous white dog Kabu and looked at the goldfish and saw day-old lambs and generally had a great time at the house where I grew up.

And now we're home again and they're riding bikes on the porch and we dug worms today and planted sunflower seeds and that's nice too.

It's weird being by myself.

But I am looking on the many bright sides: rooms stay clean after I clean them. I eat whatever I want for meals and do not scarf it with an arm hooked around my bowl because someone else prefers it to their own meal. I have not dealt with another human being's bathroom needs.

And I'm joining them in three days so I better relish it while I can!

I am trying to get a couple things done for the store while i have more time. One of them is accomplished: a logo. Here it is. I love it. A local lady-- who eats lunch with me daily and has a gallery down the street and whose oldest boy plays soccer with Annaliese and who is awesome at all things vintage-y-- made it for me. In exchange for a little cash and a lot of store credit.



I kinda want to tattoo it on my butt.

But I won't.

(Mom.)

The store in general has been doing awesome but this week is sucking so let's hope that changes.

K. said a really nice thing to me last week. He said that he thought that if I inherited millions of dollars, I'd probably keep doing what I'm doing. I probably would. It's an odd thing to feel born to be a small-town grocer.

In news of K, I guess it's okay to announce that he quit his job 2 weeks ago. He's still working there-- until the end of March-- because he gave notice the right way: he's leaving with bridges intact and letters of recommendation in hand. Handily, mere months after our moneypit of a building stabilized financially what with the 4 paying tenants we have and hope to keep, knock on wood.

He is not moving to another job. He is walking out, looking around, and seeing what evolves.

This scares the pants off some members of our family but maybe naively, not me.

I fell in love with a tall boy who was pretty poor, by my standards, and by the luck of the draw he ended up making a lot of money, more than our peers, enough for us to pretty much do what we want, enough for me to stay home and then open a store and work for free. He has made a lot of money for awhile now. We've bought our home and the building and two vintage Mercedes and paid off the Vermont cabin and the other toys (not all on our own, thanks Dad!). And lately we've been looking at each other and thinking-- well, okay, either we yuppie it up and get a cleaning lady and a leased fancy car and enjoy this lifestyle a little more, or we change it.

He's 31. Been working in the same industry since he was 22. Either he changes now or be'll be closer to 40 and less likely to jump over to something else.

So he's jumping.

And I am really proud of him. I'm betting he lands on his feet. He always has before.

In the mean time, no more cleaning lady :(

The Sound of Silence

It's me all by myself at home today. First time in... two years.

Rather wondrous.

I have been more than a little strung out in the last 2 weeks. Mama, apparently, has had her quota, and anxious hysteria has ensued.

However. The kids be doing alright.

This afternoon:

Annaliese, fooling around:

15 minutes ago, the children, spied out the window, picking flowers together:

Now they're putting them in a mason jar.

The beginning of Something

My cousin Nick is coming for a visit today and he has brought New England with him: it's like 18 degrees out there. RIDICULOUS. I secede.

This week has maybe, potientally, been a game-changer, and I can't talk about it yet. So there. I'm excited, though. Change is good. Change is how you get what you want.

I was reading manager blogs yesterday on tips how to fire people-- uh-huh-- and came across a piece of wisdom that I will paraphrase: the right person in the job can increase productivity by a factor of 5. So don't settle for the almost-right person, because they're hurting your business.

Well, that explains my cook's impact... she is right, and she has impacted my business in an exponential kind of way. Plus she makes Annaliese lunch every day.

We had a completely average week at the store last week. No special events, no crazy surge of shoppers, no holidays to boost sales (other than Valentine's Day, which did sell a few extra cupcakes). And yet we paid our own way. We hit a number in sales that seems unremarkable now--- average, even-- and yet, it's what I was thrilled to get to last spring. There is growth, is what I'm saying. There is growth. People from outside the community still ask me often-- are you doing ok? Is there demand for a little store like this, with imported pasta and cane-sugar sodas and organic yogurt?

It hasn't been a slam dunk. But apparently, slowly, one elderly lady swearing my apples are the best, or the bank teller telling me yesterday that the grass-fed local rib-eyes have the best flavor, or the old guys eating biscuits and gravy on Saturday morning, at a time, there is.

There are not a lot of locavores in this town. There are very few rich people. But everyone wants two things: their food to taste good or cost less. Its definitely and either/or.

We try to appeal to both. On different items. Hence the 99 cent/lb apples and the imported pasta.

I super love selling food.

Most of my customers still shop at supermarkets, but the longer I spend away from Kroger or Whole Foods, the more repellent I find them. People tell me every day they have to go there for --- fill-in-the-blank-- brand, and I nod, but whatever. A brand is a brand. I'm kind of happy leaving all that targeted marketing, that deceptive "freshly baked!" labeling, that generic versus name-brand ingredient scrutinizing, behind. We don't have as many options in our shopping as Krogerites, but on the other hand, I know exactly where my food is coming from. I know precisely where the money I spend in little stores go. And shockingly, the assumption that prices are higher mostly isn't true. It's true on brands. Not true on produce, or bread, or coffee, or other staples.

And that's not just my store. K and I went to a little hipster market in Portland last summer and then we went to Whole Foods. The little hipster market's produce was across the board more varied, more local, and cheaper than Whole Foods.

I wish everyone would eat small. The world would change.

-----

I can really go on about groceries as of late.

----

Family? Kids are great. Caspian is eating like a horse and has the body of a future boxer and now weighs a pound less than his sister, who still has half-a-head of height on him. He seems wildly popular in this town. Yesterday we left them at the church for a youth event and when we came to pick them up, he was getting touted by all the big kids, who were trying to orchestrate his winning at musical chairs. He also snuggled up to me this morning and told me how happy he was it was family day. And he's completely potty-trained -- at 2 and a half-- with very little effort from me. Caspian's awesome.

Annaliese has been a champ lately at the store, and at French lessons, which she adores. Twice a week at 11am she runs up the stairs behind the store to Madeleine's apartment and gets tutored by this very hip arty girl in French. She comes back down and our cook makes her tell us something in French before she gets her lunch. She then takes her lunch and flies down to the front of the store, where she usually watches a cartoon and eats her sandwich, carrots, and pickles at her little desk in front of the window. Sometimes she disappears next door to the dress shop and watches Miss J. cutting fabric, or I'll find her in the kitchen with Miss C., icing a cookie.

It's a charmed life. She's pretty independent at the store, because she has to be; I'm working. It's harder having her there, but conversely, she seems to be thriving. And she is learning to love her vegetables.

And K.? K is handsome and funny and last night we had a true Mississippi date: after dropping the kids off at the church party and before the art council event we were slated to attend, we got take-out crawfish from the little former gas-station down the road and then pulled pork sandwiches from the trailer that sells BBQ on the weekends next to Sonic. We grabbed the one can of beer in our fridge and sat in the booths of my store, getting spices and BBQ sauce all over our hands. K's good.

I am anxious for spring because I want to plant my sunflowers and zinnias and morning glories and crazy heirloom squashes and melons.

We are going to be harvesting our first rabbits this week.

The daffodils are out.

Have a great week!

Little Carnivore

This morning, my children talking about what they want for dinner. Caspian wants chicken. Annaliese said, "but we don't have chicken in our refrigerator. We'll have to go kill one. Because our chickens are YUMMY!"

Happy Saturday!

It's been a long week.

K and I had a fight. It was his fault. I was right. An ancient toaster met an untimely end.

Just kidding honey. You were totally right.

Then we went out to dinner and a gallery opening downtown last night and now we're best friends again.

(I was right.)

The kids have been a little omnipresent, but on the upside, Caspian has taken to putting his pudgy little-boy hands on either side of my face and calling me his sweet mama.

That boy is going to go far in life. Everyone he meets wants to kiss him.

Two perfect raincoats arrived in the mail-- pink ladybugs for my girl, neon camo for my boy-- which they love and Annaliese has been living in hers. Good thing since it's raining daily.

The rabbits have been grazing the orchard, which is not all that level, and they keep tunneling holes out and so we have learned to catch rabbits with a fishing net. It's a lot of fun.

K. has to go to sunny Florida at 5am tomorrow and that bums me out.

A few pics-- a friend snapped them for a mag publication that's no longer going to happen, so now they're mine!--

In the last week

I went to New Orleans and didn't take a single picture.

(I did have an awesome time though.)

I lost 2 pounds. 4 to go.

(Rockstar2012 diet: includes no cocaine and a lot of walnuts.)

I sat on the couch with my husband and talked for 2 hours.

(He rubbed my feet too.)

A guy named Randy who's kin to my cook at the store and who used to make BBQ brought me three ducks in a brown paper bag.

(They're still in my fridge, don't tell him.)

Annaliese told me for the first time tonight amid sobs that she wished she didn't have a mother.

(I bent my head to hide a smile.)

The store's a hairsbreath away from being overdrawn at the bank. And those are only the checks I have to write, not all the money owed.

(What else is new? It's January.)

I bought skinny jeans and I like 'em.

(two years late, but hey, I'm no trendster.)

random thought of the day

I dislike the whole idea of push presents. I love presents. Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries, whatever, whenever, love 'em, love presents. K. actually gave me a beautiful necklace after Annaliese's birth. But honestly? I remember not even wanting to put it on. I was the ugliest I'd ever been after the births of my kids and what I really wanted was for my boobs to stop hurting and to be able to go to the bathroom without fear, not to mention a good night's sleep.

Jewelry kinda seemed to miss the point.

this tickled me.

click here.

Just Overheard

The children playing with blocks behind me....

Annaliese: Love you.

Caspian: Love YOU.

Annaliese: Why do you whine all the time?

Caspian: Because I like to.

Annaliese: Silly boy.


Now they're playing hide-and-seek and Annaliese is luring Caspian out of hiding with waffles. He just burst out "I wanna waffle!"

Funny kids.

Some pics from the winter here.