I did not write this either

http://www.girlsgonechild.net/2010/06/in-defense-of-happiness.html

But it is still worth reading.

If My M-F-ing Coolers Don't Stop Effing Up There Is Going to Be Blood

Anyway.

In other news, I read this at SuburbanSnapshots.com and it is worth sharing.

WHY HAVING A TODDLER IS
LIKE BEING AT A FRAT PARTY*

THURSDAY, JUNE 10, 2010

*That one frat party I've ever been to, having gone to a Very Serious Arts College.

10. There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.

9. There's always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.

8. It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.

7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone's going to start banging on the door.

6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.

5. You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.

4. There's definitely going to be a fight.

3. You're not sure whether anything you're doing is right, you just hope it won't get you arrested.

2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.

1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.

i

Ki is gone until MONDAY which means it is uber easy for me to be uber grumpy.



I am working on it.


weather hot. kids good. annaliese is sleeping without a pullup these days, knock on wood. this morning she hopped out of bed and used her portable potty in her room all by herself. she got big kisses for that one. and caspian, teething again, only 6 teeth to go before he is all teethed up! walks more and more every day and is saying mama and daddy like a champ.

i am contemplating life without anika in a month and it ain't pretty. it's nice having company with the kids in the long afternoons, another adult to make really good dinners, and generally a go-to person for anything that crops up. sheesh. can't believe she is leaving all this for berlin. talk about c-razy.

the garden gives me great eace, joy, a little anxiety, and quite a few bugbites. what it has not produced, to date, is produce we actually really eat... the beautiful lettuce was wasted on us (though i sold some at the store), caspian's the only one who really liked the beets, new zealand spinach was also wasted on us, and the tomatoes are green and slowly turning but have yet to hit in force. we have had a little yummy squash, but the kids do not like it. beh. i have taken to planting zinnias and basil in the spots that crop up because in my opinion you can never have too many of either. the beans are standing still... the heat? i plan to shower them with manure and keep up the watering and mebbe something will happen. cukes are forming, k ate two before he left. they are 99 cents a pound in the store though-- for homegrown-- and it is hard to beat that.

i have some kickass sunflowers in my turquoise planter in the courtyard though, that make me feel all south-of-france-ish every time i drive home.

that's me, these days. a little grumpy, a lot hot, and very conscious of how much i have to be thankful for.

The Biggest News

Caspian is walking! By which I mean he proudly, grinning like a maniac, takes a few solo steps and then plops onto his butt and claps.

Cutest thing EVER.

Considering my two little numskulls have taken turns in not sleeping-- as in really not sleeping, as in every fricking-45-minutes-uncontrollable-wailing-not-sleeping-- I am in a really good mood.

Must have to do with the vacation research I've been doing for our upcoming anniversary trip. That we are taking in January. Which is really, relatively, right around the corner. Not really sure where the children will be, but one thing's for sure: not with us.

Selling watermelon, pushing the season's first corn, stone-cold out of pork chops and bread. I like this business. I think it suits me.

On a personal note, I picked my first tomato-- a red Mortgage Lifter-- yesterday evening. I am surrounded by produce all day long but I am still excited.

K's leaving next week. All week. Some work and a little play-- on Tahoe in a lakeside cabin with a bunch of guys, no less-- and I am both jealous and apprehensive. Thank Heaven Anika is still here!

Postcard Lady just pulled in. Later, taters.

Belated Bday Pics... And Annaliese

Homemade Banana Cake with Wilbur's Blackberries, Thank you VERY much

And the verdict is....

Yum! Yay for being one!

Little rock star.

----

Some long delayed pics...

Kids are down with a fever, which is going to make tomorrow... interesting, what with the produce trip and K's day of meetings and all. Good thing Anika is still here.

Annaliese has decided that there is a duck who lives in her room and he scares her. Not sure where THAT came from. Also, she insisted very sweetly this afternoon on putting her scraps from lunch out in the courtyard for the Easter Bunny. He figures promintently in her prayers these days as well.

We have reached the time when I wish we lived elsewhere. Summer in Mississippi is like winter in Vermont-- any time outside is uncomfortable. Although, at least here we do get the bearable mornings and evenings, when people emerge from the air conditioning to walk downtown or cut the grass. I have two friends who ae very pregnant and in so many ways, I don't envy them.

Cheers. Regular posting will, I promise, resume.

Beefcake, Courtesy of Anika

Back in VA, K. wanted to go here.

So we did. With bebes. And Cousin Nick, Caspian's godpapa, a good friend, an actual cousin, etc.

Then we got to the very cold water. Too cold for the kids. But men are men!

They still had to think about it.



Conclusion:

Blame Everyone Else

for the lack of pics. My mother, Anika, and my cousin took pics of hiking, christening, etc, and I've yet to see a single one. And Caspian looked ADORABLE too.

It a slow lunch time here at the BTC. Things seem momentarily under control: orders placed, checks written, account balanced, items priced. I've got a call in to sign uo for a food safety course so we can serve sandwiches: july 4th goal and more of the addicting crackers on their way.

sure hope we make it.

Was missing my little boy this morning-- spending the day with just him, trundling around town and cleaning up the house. Honestly, he doesn't seem to miss it-- he goes off to nursery school in the morning without a murmur, holding his arms out to his teacher-- but I will always be thankful we had 10+ months together at home.

Being away from the house, being at work, not to mention MANAGING a store... big-time change, and I don't have it balanced yet. Sometimes I wish I was still a kid and someone would tell me when I did something right. It's not always easy to tell these days.

But! Sun shining, air conditioning working, been getting some garden time in, and K and I have a date on Saturday.

Plus my little sister, 1 week out of college, went and got herself a JOB. An awesome one that she's excited about, pays well, gets vacay and benefits and whatnot, and involves travel to Hawaii. That kid. She always lands on her feet. I am uber-proud of her and uber-frickin-jealous because man, it'd be good to get paid.

Cheers sister!

All is well.

We went to Virginia. My sister graduated, the bebe was christened, once again Annaliese and Kagan puked. And me too. Still fun though. Even if we left at 4´30 in the morning with my mother and sister in the throes of stomach flu.

We came home. The store hadn't burned down. Hit the ground running.... or jogging.... or limping... but it's ok.

Caspian, MY BABY, turned one. He cried a lot and then had banana cake. picures to come. He now has 14 teeth, since the molars are through AND 2 eyeteeth. He is now called Piranha Mouth. He likes pork chops. He is sitting acrss from me right now with a balloon tied to hs chair, trying to use a spoon in a real bowl for the very first time. I am inordinately fond of him and everyone who spends time with him comes up later to tell me-- with wonder in their voice--- how sweet he is.

Annaliese took his presents and then sang him ''Happy Birthday, Baby Brudder, Happy Birthday, Baby Brudder.'' She is very terribly two. We are weary of time-outs. But she is also impossibly charming and speaking full thought-sentences, so...

Going to Bham tonight for a whirlwind bachelorette party.

Pictures, someday, to follow.

K. was feeling rich.

So guess what he did with it.

Chipped away at his student loans? Nope. Patched the leaking roof of the house that shall not be named? Nope. Wined and dined me? Uh-uh.

The one with the bottle on it is faithful Boatie. The other? K's new daily driver, kitted out for vegetable oil, with a working radio and the third seat in the back.

Every time he looks at them he giggles.

Spaghetti Dinner

Pics

Chickens in the garden this weekend.

Here's where I go every Wednesday:

I don't care for all the Amish farms but this one is SO BEAUTIFUL. Just the order. And the garden of strawberries :)

More to come.

We [layed outside until Annaliese got bit by an ant. So now the kids are eating strawberries and watching Aladdin.

I should be:

1. Starting dinner
2. Making the bed
3. Folding the laundry
4. Calling my meat/cheese person or possibly
5. Running a dozen eggs down to the store.

I have been struck lately by how so much of my life is about balancing what has to be done, what various people need, and how to stay sane. Constant choices-- who can afford to not talk to me? What can slide for the day, and what absolutely has to get done? (Guess where the dogs rank in this daily tally... they are down to weekend walks.)

I disintctly recall when my time was more like what I should be doing, and what I was doing: chore versus luxury.

Those days be gone, baby.

And I can't really say I miss them.

I used to worry I was lazy. Because I didn't like doing chores, or much else besides reading. I wanted-- even as a child-- to be a person who liked to take walks, garden, read non-fiction, work hard at something without hating every minute. But all I really wanted to do was read, possibly swim-- while reading.

And now? A morning off means I sweep the house, mop the kitchen, and weed the tomatoes. AND IT'S FUN. Because I can go at my own pace and daydream while weeding and enjoy the sun shine and the gleam of clean floors.

I think I am doing the right things.
Because I may not yet be in the black, or have enough time for everything, but I do not grudge the time I spend.
I am not waiting to be done so that I can return to my real life.

Gosh, it can be fun to be a grown-up.

Eatin' Beets

We got a wading pool on Saturday afternoon and consequently none of the weekend pictures have any clothed children in them.

Lunch to eat, kids to pick up. More later.

Cheers.

K's away. Molars are coming in (again). Chocolate croissants are delicious. Anika is beyond amazing. Doc Watson's getting me through a slow afternoon.

Blogging From Work

I think I might be beginning to find my equilibium. I finally realized yesterday that what is keeping me off-balance is "hearing" the things every person who walks in the store is thinking. Not that i'm psychic; indeed, I'm probably making it all up. But in my head, I hear people's thoughts. Thoughts like "this is it?" and "those tomatoes aren't anything special" and "how in god's name can they run a grocery store and not have bread?" Couple my craziness with the actual words coming of out people's mouths and my thin skin and it's like being beaten with a mean stick all day long.

So today when I catch myself thinking other people's thoughts, I'm telling myself to shut up. And it's helping.

---

An Annaliese story!

Friday, her teacher told me Annaliese had something to give me. So I waited until she wandered out with something in her hand. Miss Lee urged her to give it to me, but there was a 3-foot-tall teddy bear in the room, and she was distracted. Eventually she came over but instead of handing me my Mother's Day present-- a styrofoam cup with a flower planted in it-- she said " no! it's my present!"

At which point, I and Miss Lee gave up and I toted the kids to the car.

I was buckling her in and asked again if she wanted to give me my present. She said "NO MA'AM" and so I started up the car.

The whole way home, Annaliese cradled her plant and sang, "Happy Birthday-to-ME, Happy Birthday-to-ME."

This child of mine.

We had a great day yesterday.

Really, it was our opening... a festival happened right outside our doors, Main Street closed off to traffic, bands playing, the whole shebang, and we sold something like 300+ bottles of vintage-style cane sugar soda, all our bread, every last bottle of milk and cream, and bag after bag of candy.

It was a great day. A long one: on my feet from over 12 hours, smiling and checking people out, refilling coolers, coping with what came up, but a great one.





(took this outside one wednesday, not festival day)


our aprons arrived. don't anika and i look cute? we make the teenage boy who helps us wear one too.



Caspian's enjoying the ball pit, along with 900 other kids....



Anyhow. It was a lot of fun. And then I shut the store down, came home, got to sleep in until 8 AM!!!, and then we went to the zoo. Which was a whole different kind of fun. One I really needed.

And THEN I came home and found out that my baker is dumping me. Without warning. Which means my store opens at 8am tomorrow without our biggest draw/seller. Which really f-ing sucks.

Anyhow.

Pictures of the store and the zoo and the whole SHEBANG here.

--

Heh! Turns out I was wrong! She was just mad at me about a labeling snafu. And out of town unexpectedly tomorrow. Which is not good, but so very much better than I'd thought.

Sigh.

Man.

This week has been a killer. I am struggling to find my balance in just about every arena. Today, with 90% of our goods priced and on the shelves, produce re-stocked, coolers (cross-your-fingers) stocked and working, and having had breakfast with the kids, it feels possible.

The rest of the week? Not so much.

First Day

Yesterday, I worked from 7am to 8pm without ever going to the bathroom, something I didn't realize until after the end of the day. I sold 50+ loaves of bread, all my bananas, okra, strawberries, and a shocking amount of bagged things I didn't really think would sell, like papaya and pineapple tidbits.

It was a great day.

Sure, there was the stringy-haired lady who bought a cabbage and shoplifted sardines. And the the off-looking gentlemen who pleaded with me to sell my slicing tomatoes 2 for a dollar. And the old man who came in several times to tell me that the family who owns the PigglyWiggly were going to get me. And the family who came in, asked the store's phone number, left, and then called to haggle at great length about the price of the hanging baskets.

Not to mention the fact that 2 of those pricey open coolers I bought were apparently rewired by drunk monkeys, I now owe a repair man an exorbinant sum of money, and we didn't even get the meat/cheese cooler working, so we had none of that out. It also poured and K had left an upstairs window open, so water began seeping though the floor and dripping onto my eletrcontic scale, cash register, AND VERY EXPENSIVE COMPUTER. I'm not entirely sure the printer has survived.

Oh. And Norma? Didn't come to work on Friday or Saturday, because apparently those 4 days of pricing and bagging put her back out.

But despite the obstacles that kept (and will) keep cropping up, it was supremely satisfying to begin. Thrilling to see people excited about the produce and condiments and locally produced milk and bulk spices.

And the kids' area? Brilliant. Parents are loving it. Kids are loving it. Annaliese made about 100 new friends. A little boy told me he loved it and then ran into play, while his mother was practically incoherent with glee that she got to shop in peace.

I know a lot of people came out of curiousity, and Saturday's earnings are not likely to be repeated. In six months, maybe, we'll know if we'll make it. Not today.

But it was a good start. Pictures here. We'll get one of the outside this week.

--

I have been sitting, staring at the screen, trying to think how to convey that while the store is my inititative, it would not have been remotely possible to open with K, who has done everything from requiring the entire electrical system to building literally everything to helping me with inventory and pricing, to Anika, who got here on Thursday from Germany and has literally not stopped working since, to our babysitter, who has come over at the drop a hat to take care of the kids in the evenings, especially on Friday night, which was INSANE-- I sent Anika home at 11, K home at midnight, and I made it home at 2...

there really just aren't the right words. But man is it good to have those two at my back.

Today is the day of rest. It's raining. K's taking a nap with Caspian, Anika is getting a chance to unpack, and Annaliese is stomping around in her pajamas. It's Family Day. And so I'm not going to think about produce logistics or inventory or bagging or my employee problem any more, at least until the evening.

It's good to be started.

A 14-hour day has just flown by.

And now I need to fold the laundry, pick up the house, and make tomorrow's list.

I promise a big update, with pictures, on Sunday. But for now... I am working flat-out (as is K) and it looks like there's a good chance it'll come together.

Keep your fingers crossed.

p.s. The Piranha chicks met 25 gruesome ends. They are all dead. And there is blood staining our chicken house door. Raisin' critters ain't for sissies.