A great weekend.

Began with a fab dinner here; ended with an evening here.












In between: Farmers' Market (which seems to be waning, actually, and causing me some concern); 90% of the porch trim painted; the bathroom trim finished; pancakes and an extra nap; grilled shrimp and zucchini.

We go to Vermont on Wednesday.

Somehow, a long exhale

We've had 5+ weeks of houseguests in the last 3 months. Mostly, this has been a good thing, because it is great to have people do this:





aka hold the baby.

But fyi, no more for now-- even though Eliza is a rock star and didn't mind getting up at the crack of dawn; even though Dad washed dishes and took the dogs for walks. Even though we love you all. We need at least three months of peaceful weekends and plenty of pajama time to recuperate--especially since WE'RE traveling in September and October.

We are still beginning to come together as a family of four, and sometimes-- it has been this week, anyway-- it is delightful.

Annaliese came down with a nasty chest/cough/cold bug on Sunday. We were grilling at the lake with my family, and I could see her becoming sicker and sicker until on the way home, she was pale and slumped in her car seat, snot running out of her nose.

Talk about making me feel like a lousy mother.

She has stayed home from school all week (though she is much better now and could probably go back) but we have opted to keep her out this week and the next-- when we go to VT-- which means she'll not return until the 10th.

She's glad to be home. In general, our little girl is a social butterfly, but there have been some big changes here lately and I think the adrenaline has faded for us all; now we're just ready to settle down. So I've been home all week with my two babies, wiping snotty noses and poopy bottoms and somehow managing to love it.



I was not ready to handle the two of them on my own for extended periods of time before now, but I am very proud of how I can now. Today I even trapped Caspian onto me in the Bjorn and popped Annaliese in the stroller and walked down Main Street to the drugstore, where I bought my little girl a chocolate ice cream in a cup and watched her smear it all over her snotty little face. She deserves it. The kid said table today; she's talking up a storm. I can now ask her if she's hungry or thirsty or if she wants raisins or blueberries and she will shake or nod her head and say "Pease" when I tell her to ask politely.

K. and I woke up and found ourselves out of the rocky place, which is fantastic. Always amazing to remember how much we like each other at the bottom of all the bills and the babies and the whatnots. We're even going to dinner tomorrow night; one of my Farmers' Market vendors is a very Christian teacher and one of 10; she regularly looks after her brother's 9 children; I think she'll be fine. Annaliese probably won't find her as glamorous as her old teenage babysitter, but here's to hoping she's more reliable.

Sadly, no one is sleeping more. Caspian is holding steady at 2 feedings per night but Annaliese has not slept without coughing and crying in over a week. Saturday she sobbed for about an hour in our arms, our bed, her crib; we couldn't get her to calm down. (In retrospect: too much of a big day and the illness coming on).

We have 7 chicks and 3 mama hens who are competing for the said chicks. We also basically killed one of our hens by accident. More on that later; the affair of the chickens is kind of in flux with the new arrivals and our system is currently sort of limping along. I need pics of the fuzzballs though; don't have any.

Tea and book and bed time.

Goodnight all.

My sister and my dad are arriving tonight.

This is big news, as Eliza has been in Australia and Shanghai and Dad has never been to Mississippi since we moved here.

Pics to come!

-----

It has been a sad week in our town. A toddler who had wandered onto the busy road in front of her house got hit by a truck. The driver of the truck is recently widowed and was so upset he had to be sedated. K. had a very scary incident with our truck, and was towed home on his way back from Detroit. The lady in charge of the baby's room at Annaliese's play school found out yesterday that her Hodgkins Lymphoma is back.

More reminders that life can change irrevocably in an instant and that no blessing can be taken for granted.

Brace Yourselves

All four of Annaliese's eyeteeth are coming in and she's having a tough time. Snot. Cough. Rash. Short naps and staccato nights. There have been no subsequent big-girl-bed nights or potty pees, though she did deliberately pee in the dog dish yesterday.

Caspian is waking up to the world around him and proving to be a good-natured cutie pie who likes pink elephants.



I took pics of the farmers yesterday for our webpage. The market is going well, but I'll admit that it's kind of hectic this year. I spend more time policing my kids than shooting the breeze, and that's never fun.

Here are two-- the first is Annaliese's surrogate grandpa and good friend, the second a rather random character who cuts lawns and sells blueberries. He has a fantastically southern Gothic name, but I probably shouldn't put that in the Internet.








The weather is holding steady at hot. I've done a lot of dishes.

There, that bland enough for you?

I never really intended for this blog to be read by my mother-in-law, my aunts, my mom's friends, and Lord knows who else. I try not to think about it, because if this blog becomes a place for me to post pics of my kids and lie about how great everything is going, then it becomes a chore.

Instead I think of it more as sort of random outbursts about whatever is on my mind, good and bad, cuss words and all, which only imaginary people read. Oh. And pictures of my kids.

So, now that we've sorted the imaginary non-judgemental people from those who are closing their browsers and will wait for my annual Christmas card...

K. and I have been having a tough time lately.

Gasp.

I know, we're only the World's Most Fated Couple, but throw romantic soul-mates together along with two kids under two, incontinent and flea-ridden dogs, bills, renovation projects, and-- as always-- too little sleep and pretty much zero time together, even WE descend into higher levels of snarkiness, hurt feelings, and general sniping over Who's Doing More.

(By the way, I WIN. BECAUSE BUSINESS TRIPS = VACATION AND SO DOES WORK. Any time you can excuse yourself to go to the bathroom means that you're in the lap of luxury.)

(Just kidding, honey.)

I know why we're snarky-- like, duh!-- and I know things will get easier as the kids sleep more and blah blah blah. I mean, we haven't left kids for so much as an hour with anyone else in over a month, and by the time they're asleep, we're ready to collapse too. it's what they call a wearing situation.

(This Situation Will Change, by the by. We're just saving our pennies for our vacation later this month to Vermont. When we get back and all the freaking insurance premium checks have cleared we're instituting date night, like every other boring-but-still-married couple out there. Cos I love him so and we're staying married forever.)

______________


In other news, K. cleaned Boatie til she gleams and fixed the motor mounts so that the hood doesn't vibrate at an idle.

Boatie, for those who haven't met her, is my navy-blue 24-year-old Diesel Mercedes station wagon. I really, really love her. Even if her radio and AC doesn't work and her cruise control tries valiantly but pretty much is useless.

I love her. She is my dream car. And the fact that she's got two car-seats in the back doesn't detract from her overall coolness one whit. I keep the windows down, my shades on, and purr along through town five miles below the speed limit, because she's just that kind of car.

Plus she feels kind of whacked out and confused at high speeds.

Someone asked me the other day how her pick-up was, and I, confused, said "fine?"

"No, I mean can you pass people?"

I snorted. "Pass people? I don't pass people. People pass ME."

I've had cars I liked before-- my Subaru comes to mind-- but man, do I feel like one hot-ass mom driving around in Boatie. Go figure. K likes to laugh, shake his head, and say-- "she really is the perfect car for you."

Plus, despite the fact we've spent more than her purchase price on various things and flibber-gibbits (ask K for the technical details, all I know is she doesn't whine at high speeds anymore but I still don't have AC), she's still coming in at under 5k.

____________________

K. is going to Detroit tomorrow. He will miss two dinner/bath/bedtime madnesses. I am jealous of this.

____________________

The skeeters are really bad?

We accidentally hard-boiled an egg that had a half-way-formed baby chicken in it?

We took both kids to a restaurant for lunch after church today and there was minimal tears but disappointing food?

That's the word folks. Hope all you imaginary people are having fine weekends.

I am still twenty-six (despite what I told the Indian man at the Shell station, who then assured me that I looked too young to have two kids! Hah!) and so occasionally I think about what my peers are doing.

For some inexplicable reason, V. and J. (Vinnie+: yeah, you know these people) especially cross my mind of late, probably because my mom sees them all the time and tells me things like "J is so great! You would totally be friends!" and "V. is back from touring Europe!" and I'm all like, so how long have they been engaged? Because IT IS TIME TO BUCKLE DOWN, young hooligans. Get married and procreate so I don't have to think about how you two SLEEP IN and then EAT BREAKFAST without a toddler on your lap and there is No Chance of Anyone Going to Europe Ever, Ever Again.

And the I think about whether or not K. and I should have waited to have kids until we were in our 30s. And then I think: No. Because holy poopy, are we going to be young and fit when our kids get out of the house. And it took us about ten minutes to get pregnant, and I really would not have coped with infertility at all well, and your body bounces back quicker when you're younger, and, and...

and, well, I really do love my kids. Plus they've made me into the person I have always wanted to be: at ease with small children (before I was a mom, they made me inadequate and uncomfortable-feeling, now I'm all like Joey Adams! You need a tissue, honey?) as well as comfortable sending food back on the rare occasion I eat out.

It's interesting, how much validation we all need for our choices. Home Birthers! Attachment Parenting! Ferberize! Have a career first! Live together Befor Marriage! Get divorced! Get married! Get a masters degree!

When what we're really saying is--

this is what I did

and

what I did was/is right (right?)

Big-girl Beds and Potty Time...oh My

This afternoon the children were like Jack-in-the-Boxes; as soon as we got one settled, the other popped up.

I am very tired these days. Not that Caspian's schedule is so onerous (he's up at 1-ish, 4-ish, and then the entire household rises at dawn)-- it is more that I go to bed waiting to be woken up. I am on call at almost all times, and after two-plus months... it's getting to me.

I remind myself to be patient. That kids are not static, that this is not my life forever. To enjoy the soft fuzz of his head and his funny little coos and the way his dirtiest diapers don't really smell bad, unless you have a strong aversion to buttermilk.

That being said, I sure would like to go out for a long dinner with K. and come home late, knowing nothing and no one would wake me up.

Maybe for our FIFTH anniversary:) The fourth is rolling towards us, Sept. 18th, and since I am a girl who loves anniversaries and birthdays and Christmases I am quite excited. Four years! Whoa! I remember on our honeymoon people would ask how long we'd been married and we'd stammer, "nine days," or whatever. Four years is quite respectable sounding.

Enough of my complaining and yammering and now for the big news:

Annaliese slept twice this week all night long in her big-girl bed. Good news for Caspian, who is rapidly outgrowing the bassinet; maybe in another two months both my babies will be sleeping in the nursery, Annaliese in her bed, Caspian in the crib, ALL NIGHT LONG. HINT. HINT.

AND:

Today, Annaliese peed twice in her potty.

The parents out there know how very impressive this is, and no doubt will want the FULL GORY DETAILS.

No, you need not insist. I'll spill.

We were lounging around in bed this afternoon after the whole Failed Nap Experiment and Annaliese was naked, mainly because the outfit she'd had on at the Farmers' Market was trashed-- sweaty and mulchy from the great magnolia tree.

She made a face I know all too well and we looked down to see a small spot of pee on our white comforter (which come to think of it, is still on the bed. Hmm. Tomorrow.)

"Annaliese," said I, because I work hard to be laissez-faire (sp?) about toddler mess, "if you have to go pee, go to your potty."

Off hopped Annaliese to the bathroom. I heard the seat of her potty clink, and then there was silence. K. and I kept talking about whatever and then Annaliese appeared in the doorway.

"Bee-bee?" she said, because she can't say her Ps yet.

So we rose and lo and behold, a small neat amount of pee in her potty. We clapped and then poured it in the big toilet, and waved "bye bye" as we flushed it away.

About two hours later, after her snack, we were having communal bathroom time and Annaliese sat on her potty and peed once more!

We are very impressed with our little girl.

I'm not rushing off to buy her first set of panties, but wow, people... my baby's such a little rock star.

Have a happy Sunday!

Annaliese in the sink this Saturday

I have been trying to write a post for quite awhile and since the baby is currently crying and Annaliese is hugging her pink blanket covered in chicken poop (don't ask) and crying No, Mama, No, whenever I try to lead her to the washing machine...

there will be no related post.

Not sure folks have seen the fab new shelving K built two weeks ago.



The living room is coming together. No more trash bags on the floor, anywhere!



We took a self-family-portrait too. This involves me positioning the camera, setting the timer, and running like a maniac while we try to entice Annaliese to look at the blinking orange light and not crazy Mama.

Amazingly, we were successful:



So what if the eldest has no clothes on? Shoes are what matter.

Randomly, after listening to an NPR book review

Has anyone ever noticed how important place is to mystery series?

Hiassen and MacDonald, Florida

Chandler, L.A.

Sayers, Perry, Grimes, England

Penny, Three Pines, Quebec, Canada

and now Loomis, Provincetown.

All famous, justifiably so. And all with superb ability to convey place.

Caspian Pierce

was a super mellow baby earlier this week.



It was a rainy afternoon and he'd already been snoozing for two hours.



But he couldn't quite make up his mind to wake up.

Sadly, that state of affairs has flown out the window. He's been giving his Papa a hard time today, and judging from the cries I'm hearing right now, I don't have much to look forward to tonight.

Sigh.

Kids are like tiny vampires, which is why it's good to be young and selfish. No, you have to say sometimes. I am going to write a blog while you lie in your bed warm and swaddled and clean and fed and complain. Because it's not all about you.

Mostly.

But not all.

Thoughts on Babies, #999

As much as I hate to be one of those girls, every picture taken of me since Caspian's birth horrifies me. I'm a vain lady, and I am not looking my best these days. So y'all are just going to have to wait until I deem myself half-way decent-looking again. (I keep thinking I should be back to normal by now, and then I'm like, oh yeah: two babies in 17 months, dumbass. Let's hold our sh*t together until Christmas, at least-- if at that point the stroller-walking and crunches and no carbs between meals hasn't worked, then you can freak out and spend money on fat camp or something).

So until then, behold some TRUE beauty:




Caspian smiles all the time. ALL THE TIME. Especially when you make eye contact and coo, "Who's Mama's boy? WHO IS MAMA'S BOY?" because he ain't no fool.




The light comes through to the dining room so beautifully in the morning. Sets Annaliese's curls a-glowing and the red of the zinnias just makes me HAPPY.




And this? I was crouching behind her crib in the doorway Wednesday, when she stayed home and had an afternoon lie-down with her much loved copy of The Big Red Barn.

She now asks to be put down for naps and bedtime with a book. How awesome is SHE?

Right now, my children and my house are my world (with the occasional Farmers' Market foray). It's not a very big world, no. But I don't think we can have everything all at once, and so I am doing my best to take professional satisfaction from things like swept floors and clean diapers; friend contact from emails and phone calls and the occasional lunch/beer out; marital harmony from savoring the few conscious minutes when we go to bed at the same time (one of my favorite things, but I am perennially ready for bed, and K always wants to watch a movie! Bake banana bread! Perhaps because I am the one getting up at 1 and 4?!); alone time on the morning walk I take with Caspian, when he falls asleep in the stroller and I can walk and think my own thoughts for a blissful half-hour.

All that being said, I am one LUCKY ASS WOMAN. Because I do not KNOW how women with young-uns like mine deal with having them both home at the same time. I only have to cope for 3 hours by myself during the week, from 2:30-5:30, and I am unrepently glad. Annaliese's play school is worth every dime.

Can you beleive we were all babies once? Hard to comprehend. And strangely, if you ask your mother, chances are she won't remember much from those first hard months. I can barely remember Annaliese's-- it's as if she's been going to bed at 7 and taking 2-hour naps FOREVER, when really it took over a solid year.

Anyhow, cheers!

NB. K came home irked by me saying that my world is bebes and house, no mention of him. When what I mean is you know, world! Daytime world! He goes to the office, I go to... bebes and house! Then he comes home and we're in Family World! He should know I like him best because I'm always saying things like-- how old do the kids have to be before we can leave them and go to Iceland?

Sheesh.

Our phone line got zapped last week and killed some piece of eqipment necessary to connect to the Internet. But since it also heralded a cold front that has us with our AC shut off, cool nights, and even some gloriously cool damp days of soft rain, I haven't minded much.

Gorgissimo.

Things have been so good, in fact, that yesterday evening's insanity of bawling children (culminating in Annaliese spilling passionflower extract UP HER NOSE) and last night's misery of K and I like Jack-in-the-Boxes between our two children has left me relatively unphased.

However, Annaliese has a cold. Which means she's staying home with me and the baby. All day, by ourselves. So we'll see how long this good cheer of mine holds up! Especially considering K's leaving at 7am on Saturday to spend the day kayaking with friends on the mighty Mississippi! Leaving me-- you guessed it-- with our two kids all day. (He asked, though, and I said yes. So I'm not giving him poop. Just a little elbow nudge in the direction of undying gratitude.)

Chickens are good. I've decided to plant a chasteberry tree this fall behind the house, near our bedroom. Annaliese can now say "ap-bul" and asks for one every afternoon as snack. I can now, just barely, squeeze myself into pre-pregnancy jeans.

We're getting back to real life.



--Annaliese is her new and adored Hanna Anderson jacket, a present from K's boss. We have to hide it or she insists on wearing it/dragging it around like her treasured blankie.
dCaspian YESTERDAY, smiling like a champ.
e
And an older pic of Caspian and his Grandmama at the Farmers' Market. Note the Polo onesie. I admit to buying that for him my very self.

For someone who has been getting up at 2, 4, and for good at 6 for the last 6 weeks, I am really ridiculously cheerful.

It helps that the baby smiles now.

And that Annaliese is daily more entertaining/cool/a real person.

And that I really, really, really love our house.

And K seems just as delighted with our son and daughter and home as I am.

And we have five home-grown eggs in the fridge right now.

And it's raining again, meaning I don't have to drag the hose around for an hou to water my fruit trees, which-- speaking of-- are the ENVY of my farmers, HAH.

An explanation about the air mattress

So, K's really tall. We used to sleep on a custom-made mattress for a custom-made bed that was given to us by my aunt and made for her father, but it is narrower than a full, and as we moved/welcomed Caspian we made the decision to put the bed in storage and buy ourselves a new custom-made mattress, one as wide as a queen but longer than anything on the market.

And then I read about how fire retardant can contaminate your breast milk, and decided that we didn't need THAT chemical sprayed on our mattress either.

Can we say ka-ching?

So we're waiting a little bit, saving up, not compromising, and meanwhile the air mattress was working fine.

Until K's side (it's got two comfort level thingies) sprung a slow leak.

That's the explanation.

In other news... we have one laying hen dutifully depositing an egg a day,, but the rest are slacking off. No matter.

Annaliese likes to crawl into Caspian's bassinet, a pacifier hanging from the corner or her mouth like a pirate with a cigar, and say, night-night! (Let it be noted she would.never.sleep.in.the.bassient.not.ever and she also never took a pacifier.)

Caspian is still definitely a newborn....he cries, saves up poop, wakes, etc...but the scale is pretty manageable, knock on wood. He is not even 6 weeks old and last night we watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall (which I highly recommend) in its entirety with him sacked out on my lap. Not so bad, n'est pas?



In less fun news, K apparently thinks Mila Kunis (that 70s show) is pretty cute. He got that sheepish grin when he nonchalantly said something about her last night (she's in the movie) that revealed his mini-crush. Sorry I can't COMPETE right now, I just had your SECOND CHILD. Idiot.

Although this pic does not reveal it, we got the chicken yard up, so they now spend afternoons and evenings wandering around outside. The fresh-grass pens come later, once the scrap wood is moved.



Oh, and we have a major mice problem in the attic. I have considered getting a cat and throwing it up there, but the poor thing would probably die of the heat. Summers in Mississippi are my least favorite part of the year.

Feel updated! Off to bathe the baby.

It's raining, it's pouring...

Little man is snoring...

Pics later.

The white flag is in the wash, because someone pooped/puked/peed on it

K. is in New Orleans on business. Last night he ate at a great restaurant for free and then slept in a hotel suite by HIMSELF.

What's with that? He should be in OUR bed, the air mattress that has a leak so you have to re-inflate it every hour or so, getting puked on by a gassy baby and listening to our toddler scream.

You know, like me.

Babies totally kick my ass.

Chickens!

Last Thursday one of my farmer buddies called me and said he knew of a 10-chicken flock that was a good deal.

Pity you're not set up for chickens, he said.

I called K., who said Go for it! I have a 3-day weekend.

And so:













The chickens are sleeping on their roosts, the amount of scrap wood in our yard is greatly reduced, and K deserves a round of applause for laboring all day outside in the sticky Mississippi summer.

We'll keep you updated.

The day before the Fourth of July

(We also got a care package from Eliza. Noise sticks!)

Today, Caspian turns one month. Tomorrow, America turns something or another... (a lot? come on. even if I tried to do the math, I'd get it wrong.)

In K&A news-- K's mother is still here, taking the babies at dawn, sweeping the floors, and generally making herself invaluable. (This two-kid/new baby thing will be a lot harder when she leaves and I am on my own during the days for the first time. But on the other hand, my midwife recommended I drink a beer or two every day with a meal to promote lactation. Every new mother should be prescribed beer.)

Annaliese's school has a fourth-of-July parade today. I ran around and took pictures like the crazy mom I am rapidly becoming.


And Caspian... well, as K said today, we don't have much of a sense of his personality yet. His brain is still loading (ever heard of the fourth trimester? Google it. Fascinating.) But on the other hand, he fell asleep today holding my hand, seems to like me, and is slowly but surely awakening to the world around him. Today he smiled!


So cheers:

To Caspian and America, for still being here

To Maman C, for letting me take naps and understanding the necessity to sweep the floors every day

And to a cold Guinness at bedtime!

Happy Fourth!

Big Girl Bed

She's not in it yet, but it's in her room. We'll see how it goes (not pushing anything at this stage of the game, but it'd sure be nice if she'd transition before the little boy needs a bigger bed).

This blog has had an awful lot of kid content in the last 18 months. And I gotta say, it's not likely to stop.

Sure, K. and I have the occasional non-child-related conversation, generally about something we heard on the news, work, or the house, but some of our most intimate tete-a-tetes these days are about our children, what we want for them, how we're doing as parents, and how amazing they are.

The last one's mostly Annaliese. Caspian's still just a sprout.

My mom brought the family child bed down with her, and last night we curled up on the tiny bed as our daughter slept in her crib five feet away and our son slumbered in the bassinet in the next-door room. We looked at the stars shining on the vaulted ceiling of the nursery (she has a titally cool nightlight, courtesy of her godpapa) and we whispered about how, so far, we think we're doing a pretty good job. Annaliese is a happy healthy kid, who knows that she is loved; Caspian's still alive. Not bad, so far. Not bad.

What shocks me most about parenthood is how it just... happens. One minute you're not anyone's parent, and the next you are... and the thing is-- you're the same person. The same I-don't-want-to-empty-the-recycling, I-forgot-to-pay-the-electricity-bill, I-like-to-eat-too-much-sugar-and-stay-up-late person. Personality traits and bad habits don't fade away just because you're a parent.

But now there's a little person watching you. And slowly, you begin to realize it all matters. How much you curse. Whether or not you fight a lot with your husband. What you talk about on the phone.

Talk about incentive to clean up your act.